2004-10-28 ~ 4:33 a.m.

Out Of The Darkness!

I've had a lot of really, really funny things happen in my life in the past two weeks. Mostly in the past weekend, really, but I don't feel like writing about it. I haven't really been inspired to write lately....

....but I have been inspired to help people. So, let me be serious for a few moments.

A girl at work asked me if I could proofread a letter she was working on, which was no problem since I usually have a good grasp of the English language. She isn't necessarily a friend of mine, but not because I don't want to be, we just kinda miss each other. She has bad days when I'm having good days and vice versa, so we're polite to each other, but never exceptionally friendly.

Anyway, I've now since learned why she was so closed off the past year.

If there's anyway you can help, $5 or $100, anything is appreciated.

(Don't worry, I'll get back to harrassing you about Operation Smile next week.)
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October 26, 2004

Dear FG Readers:

Late in the night on New Year�s Eve, 2003, I went downstairs to take a break from the chaos in the casino; but there was no escaping the chaos swirling through my head. I was desperate to get out of there, to go home, but terrified of what I�d do once I got there. My mother, who I adored, had passed away suddenly just a few months earlier. The loss was devastating to me. I lived in a bleak, joyless, empty world, going through the motions of every day, enveloped in sadness and grief. Each day seemed darker than the last. I struggled through my first birthday without her, my first Thanksgiving, my first Christmas, but somehow the idea of starting a new year without her was more than I thought I could bear. Terrible thoughts and ideas had been floating through my mind for weeks. I�d programmed the hotline number into my speed dial, �just in case�. That night, though, random thoughts and ideas were crystallizing into a horrible certainty that it was time to do something. I took out my cell phone and made the call.

Through my tears, I said, �I don�t know what to say�� Luckily for me, they did.

Every year, approximately 30,000 people across this country commit suicide. Every 18 minutes someone in this country intentionally ends his or her own life. Every 19 minutes, someone else is left to try to make sense of it.

Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the United States, and the third leading cause of death in the state of Nevada. In 1999, Nevada had the highest rate of suicide in the nation. In 2000, Nevada dropped to 2nd, and currently holds rank as having the 3rd highest rate - still nearly double the national average. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for Nevadans aged 25 - 34, and the third leading cause of death for Nevadans aged 10 -24. In a recent study, 20% of high schoolers surveyed admitted that they had �seriously considered� suicide within the preceding year, and most had conceived a �suicide plan�; 10% had actually attempted suicide, and of those attempts, one third required emergency medical care. There were 295 suicides in Clark County alone in 2002. Of those, six were seventeen years old or younger. Despite these alarming statistics, Nevada has only one accredited suicide hotline in operation to service the entire state.

Depression is among the most treatable of psychiatric illnesses. Some estimates suggest that between 80% and 90% of people with depression respond positively to treatment, and almost all patients gain some relief from their symptoms. Suicide is the fatal outcome of depression left untreated. The mental suffering of the suicidally depressed is often prolonged, intense, unrelenting, and inexpressible. Even in today�s society where a stint in drug rehab and illegitimate pregnancies are discussed openly, clinical depression and suicidality are among the last taboos. With no outlet for their overwhelming emotions, many feel no choice but to act -- with horribly tragic results.

Each suicide leaves at least six bereaved family members and friends. Thus, some 180,000 people are traumatically impacted each year by the suicide of someone they care about. Since 1970, more than four million people in the United States have become �survivors of suicide�. Friends, family members, and colleagues are all left with unanswerable questions, unfathomable loss and too few memories to comfort them in their time of grief.

Suicide is preventable, but it�s not all about hotlines. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is at the forefront of research, education and prevention initiatives designed to prevent loss of life from suicide. With more than 30,000 lives lost each year in the U.S. and over one million worldwide, the importance of our mission has never been greater, nor our work more urgent.

On November 19th, I will fly to Chicago at my own expense to join with hundreds of others in the �Out of the Darkness� Community Walk to show my support and benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I will be walking solely as an individual supporter, and the only representative from the state of Nevada to participate in an AFSP Community walk this year.

I�ve tossed around a lot of statistics and scientific facts in this letter, so let me take a moment to put this on a more personal level. Perhaps at some point in this past year I�ve made you laugh, made you think differently about something, or in some small way made your world a little better by continuing to be a part of it. If so, I hope you will consider supporting my participation in this event. Any contribution, no matter how small - $2, $5, the cost of a Starbucks latte - will help the work of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, and in turn may save a life.

Each walker is asked to raise a minimum of $150 as a result of their participation. To date, I�ve already raised $120, so I�m only $30 short of my minimum fundraising requirement.
Donations may be made in cash, by check (made payable to AFSP) or online with your credit or debit card by logging on to WWW.OUTOFTHEDARKNESS.ORG and clicking �Sponsor Participant� and typing my name, Cami Manninen. You will be redirected to my personal fundraising web page and guided through the rest of the donation process. Memorial gifts can be made �in the name of� or �in honor of� another person - perhaps someone you�ve loved and lost. Family and friends often find comfort in remembering loved ones lost by making gifts in memory. The generosity of survivors provides support for our work while offering some sense of comfort that the legacy of their loved ones will help to prevent this tragedy from affecting others.

Thank you for considering this request for your support. If you have any questions about the �Out of the Darkness� Community Walk or the AFSP, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely,

Cami Manninen

P.S. - All donations are due by Friday, November 19th , the day before the walk - so please don�t delay. All donations to AFSP are 100% tax-deductible. A receipt for this purpose will be provided on request.

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So, just to recap, go to WWW.OUTOFTHEDARKNESS.ORG, click on "Sponsor participant" and type in Cami Manninen.

She had the courage to put this on paper, plus she's taking the time to go and do it. She would appreciate your help, I would appreciate your help, and maybe someone you know now will appreciate your help in this endeavor.

Thanks.

(Note: You guys have been absolutely amazing so far!! Please let others know about the cause! Also, if you decide to stay to read, I'll have you know that I've been painfully boring the past few months, so, if you must, start ON THIS DAY. It will be like going on vacation without having to pay for it... kinda.) (Second Note: If you're a gay woman, please go to this nice HOT young lady's diary. Thank you.

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