2004-08-28 ~ 1:19 p.m.

Bloodline Of Leprechauns

Where to begin, where to begin.

Last weekend was very good. It was very cleansing. I came to some important conclusions. Had some good breakthroughs.

I found that I'm allowed to live. See, that's good because I didn't know that before. There were events that happened that made me think my mother wanted me dead.

I learned that my inner-child is a whole 'nother person. Not just me of years ago. It's a little me NOW that needs attention and respect. I've spend the past 20 years just giving her things, I buy toys for myself all the time, but now I realize that I have to nurture her, love her, listen to her when she's upset, and be the mother and father that she never had. It was important to realize that. "Inner Child" aren't just a couple of designer words. And, for me, she's become more tangible.

There are still steps that I need to make. I can't say that there was a drastic change over the weekend. But I have a lot more tools to deal with things day to day.

Fortunately, they offer an advanced course that's the next step up from learning of one's inner child. So we can deal with the outer adult. So, I'll tell you about that next year sometime.

THen, I got my hair colored and cut yesterday. I spent a whooooooole bunch of money. Let me put it this way, even I'm not participating in OPERATION SMILE this month. But I hate the cut. The color is alright. The cut sucks. I say "NO bangs." So the first thing she does, naturally, is cut my bangs. Then she doesn't even give me the style that I want. She tried. And she still thinks it's what she did. But... it's not. I cried, as I cried last time I got my hair cut, as I'll probably cry the next time I get my hair cut.

Then I talked to my Potato's Momma for a good portion of the evening. You can see what we talked about on her site. Because she says it better than I do. Cause all *I* really came away with is that I'm worried to have a son if I have children. :D (Ok, there was more, but you really had to be there.)

Anyway....does anyone happen to know.... do the genetics of a boy's... you know... his "pride and joy"... do those genes come from mother or father? This is important stuff, people. Let me know.

:)

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