2002-06-22 ~ 6:02 p.m.

You Mess With Me.......

I've had so much that I want to write, but haven't had the inclination, and since I didn't have the inclination, I didn't do it, and then I had more to write. So now, there is so much that I want to write about that won't all go into one entry, and that I will probably end up forgetting to write about just to come back later and though I REALLY wanted to write about it, it just wouldn't have any basis to my then current frame of mind.

Ju-know?

So, I'll just start with: I got to see my cousin who I hadn't seen for TEN years. He said he had been trying to get a hold of me, but he only had the number that we have connected to the "bill collector" line. Also known as the "computer" line. But I was on the voice line, and my roommate needed to use the phone, so he hooked up the phone to the other line. My roommate left without changing it back, and it rang, the machine picked up and I hear "HEY!! This is your cousin!"

I screamed and cursed in glee in the ear of the guy from the phone company. (Serves 'em right, anyway for working for a damned phone company.)

So, I got to hang out with my older cousin. We grew up together. We used to spend summers with Grandma together.

And now we're old enough to drink together.

We hung out with his friends. We hung out with my friends. I had a really great time.

And I think it was really important for me as well.

I really only have a blood-family bond with my mom. Her family is all crazy, especially the hand-maiden of Satan. And I just haven't kept in touch with my dad's side of the family. My grandma used to make sure I kept in touch, so after she died, I just didn't keep touch.

So it was really great. Introducing him as my cousin. Because it wasn't like introducing my roommate: "Yeah, this is my roommate who is *like* my brother."

This was MY cousin.

And this may not mean a lot to some people. From what I understand, there are families that have close family bonds.

To me, these were things that I had read about in fables, folk lore, and fairy tales.

So, that's why it was so important to me. I remembered that I DO have a family. Not just my mom. Not just my friends. A whole slew of people connected to me by circumstance that will never let me down. (As opposed to the whole slew of people that are connected to me by circumstance who will not only let me down but find ways to blame me for being let down.)

Yeah. This family shit rocks.

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