2002-01-15 ~ 11:17 a.m.

Ani DiFranco

So, last Friday, I got paid and went out of my mind at the WOW Superstore. I bought many, many CD's. Many....Many CD's. I'm not really a CD buyer either. I'm content with just hearing whatever is on the radio. I understand that this makes me a heathen in some circles. It's not that I don't love music. There's no such thing. It's just not important to me to buy or download a lot of it.

Again, I blame my parents for that. I think the last tape (yes, tape, remember those?)(Crap, does that term date me now?)(I fucking hate you young people) compilation that they bought was "Freedom Rock" which was an "As Seen On TV" item. That story is old enough, I can tell you that we even bought it C.O.D. because you could do that "back in the day."

So, I miss out on most independent artists. Artists who have fans that don't consider the artist as a passing fancy. Fans who buy tickets to the shows every single time the artist is in town.

Artists such as Ani DiFranco.

There were times when I was younger where a lot of my friends said that I would really enjoy her, but never had me listen to anything by her, so I don't know much about her. I'm not even going to pretend to be a fan. That would just insult her and her fan base.

It's almost a shame that I hadn't gotten into her when I was a teenager because then I would have a lot less CD's from her to buy now. Honestly, I didn't even buy the CD for myself. I bought it for my roommate because there was a song by her that he had heard awhile back.

I don't think there's a song that paints my mental unbalance better.

Looking back, I don't think there's anything that I've cried about more than guys who would either leave me for other women (usually strippers)(can't say I blame them); or guys I could never have just because I wasn't their type (though I'm a darn good friend that they would never want to strain or estrange the friendship.)

"Think I'm going for a walk now,

I feel a little unsteady.

Don't want nobody to follow me

'Cept maybe you.

I could make you happy, y'know.

If you weren't already.

I could do a lot of things.

And I do.

Tell you the truth, I prefer

The worst of you.

Too bad you had to have a better half,

She's not really my type,

But I think you two are forever,

And I hate to say it,

But you're perfect together.

So fuck you,

And your untouchable face,

And fuck you,

For existing in the first place.

Who am I

That I should be vying for your touch?

Who am I?

Bet you can't even tell me that much."

It almost loses something, a bit of the anger or just the great presentation, without the melody behind it, but a beautiful piece of irascibility that I couldn't have possibly said better myself.

Which is probably why I write for free on D*land rather than make money as a song writer.

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