2003-06-29 ~ 3:20 p.m.

Wedding in Hawaii Part II

Maui. We're getting married in Maui. Wow, I feel like one of those chicks that get married in Hawaii and that I decide to hate because there was no way I would ever be able to get married in Hawaii. Yeah, that is so coooo'.

There's even this website called JustMauied.com. I almost don't want to use it because that is the MOST RETARDED THING I have ever heard..... but yet, it suits me perfectly.

Speaking of retarded, Betrothed, Rally Edition read a joke in Playboy that he is inflicting on unsuspecting people at work.

Bear walks into a bar, bartender says, "what can I get you?" Bear says, "Gin and...........................................Tonic." Bartendar says, 'What's with the pause?' Bear says, 'I don't know, I was born with them.'"

Yeah. He and I are perfect for each other. Wanna hear another one while I'm at it?

......................ok!

A Mexican gets shot, and when the detectives are looking at the body, one of them says, "He must have been shot with a golf gun." The other one says, "What's a golf gun?" First one says, "I'm not sure, but it sure did make a hole in Juan."

(curtsey)

So. Back to my Maui wedding. There will be a Hawaiian officiant and he may blow a conch shell, but he will definitely do some Hawaiian chant that we won't understand. I'm also thinking of booking a Luau the night of our wedding. Well....because I have to. That's just what you do when you have a wedding in Hawaii. And if you don't, you're obviously a commie bastard that needs to be shot. I also think I want my toes in the water when we get married.

And rings. What in the hell do you get to go with the Ring of Death? It seems to me, the Ring of Death stands alone. Heh.... I just had a vision of me 80 years old in a retirement home attacking people walking down the hall with my RIIIIIIIIIIIIIING OF FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURY!!! Seriously, they say that there is a band that will fit against my current ring, I just can't visualize it very well.

And then dresses. If I'm going to have my toesies in the water, I can't have too much dress trailing behind me. And I want something that will catch and look neat being caught in the Hawaiian breeze. So, maybe something with a long scarfy....thing....

And hotels. Do I book everyone in the same hotel that way I don't have to walk that far to my hair dresser who happens to be the guy that I set up with my best friend (yes, that would be "we're not together" ex-roommate, rally edition). Talk about forward thinking, eh? And the room that I will be getting ready in since it probably won't be my own. And the room that I will be vomiting in.

BLARG!!! Anyone reading this happen to be a wedding planner? I'll pay you a good dollar fifty or so. :D

{ previous ~ next }