2003-04-19 ~ 3:02 a.m.

One Day At A Time

I know I told you guys that I didn't want a bunch of notes telling me to stop hurting myself, but I didn't really expect no one to say anything about it.

I know. I'm never happy.

I ordered a book from Amazon about self inflicted violence. It's called Scarred Souls by Dr. Tracy Alderman. I guess I should have expected the read to be boring, but I didn't. It's full of activities to figure out why it happens, what it stems from. The activities seem redundant, but apparently it is that way so that I am more conscience of it.

I also bought a second book to read up on it a little more. I think if I figure out how to do it, I'm going to start a support group for self injurers. I've checked online, and there doesn't seen to be one in Vegas.

SIV is kinda like the little bastard child of psychoses. It gets mixed in with depression or suicidal tendencies, and it's really not so much either one. Self injurers may get depressed and may occasionally want to kill themselves, but neither is the real issue. There isn't even a nifty latin name for it. There's a latin type name specifically for people who pull their hair out, but not for general self injury. I just think that's funny.

This past week has been kinda interesting I guess. On the one hand, I'm drawing into myself more at work, but on the other hand my temper is flaring a little more outwardly. My temper isn't out of hand, it just feels like I'm starting to own my space instead of letting other people decide where my space is. I think that's good.

I just need to learn to start talking more to people. Do that "social interaction" thing.

Most importantly, ONE MONTH until I work on my tan in the caribbean...

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