2003-02-18 ~ 4:03 a.m.

Stats and Phish

Incredible.... Just incredible.

I've gotten 800 hits on my diary in the past two days. I know you think I'm kidding, but I'm not.

What's my secret?

A-V-L-I-M-I-L.

SEE?? not only does it increase women's libido, but it drumgs up business on a web page. The possibilities of this stuff are ENDLESS!!!!

So, yeah, hundreds of want-to-be horny women are searching google and earthlink and getting my diary. Good thing I wrote something quasi-educational and not just "fuckin'A this" and "fuck yeah that!"

Speaking of "Fuck yeah that", we had Phish-heads in town past couple of days. I lived through the horror my parents did when Grateful Dead was big.

It was almost upsetting because I try to think of myself as open minded. I try to be patient and think "Hey, just because that person is insanely nasty and dirty doesn't mean they aren't intelligent."

But OH MY GOD!!!

They are insanely nasty and dirty. Is there a clause somewhere that says that if you're going to be a hippy, you're not allowed to bathe? But most of all, what is the romance in that?? Why would hundreds of thousands of people go, "Oh yeah, not showering... that's a really good idea.." "Oh I KNOW!! I want my hair to be as irresistably soft as steel wool with the soothing scent of sanitation."

True story, one of them asked a co-worker of mine directions to somewhere... but first they spit out the piece of sandwich they were chewing into their hand, asked my co-worker, then after getting an answer, put the chewed piece of sandwich back into his mouth. It's pretty disgusting as it is... but what I don't understand.... is "Don't talk with your mouth full" SO instilled in that guy that he felt the need to spit it out..... and why wouldn't THAT piece of advice go right out the window with bathing?

Since the casino was so busy that night, we had nothing less than $10 tables. At one point, one completely drunk guy went to my supervisor and said, "shYouknow...if zis wush 5 dollar table I would play. Whatdoyoumean no? Theresh no one playin', but I would if it wush 5 dollars."

And it got me thinking... You just have to learn and accept in yourself when societal perks just don't apply to you. I feel pretty safe in saying that no one is going to bend a rule for you when you look like you're allergic to water and you're sloppy drunk enough that people think you could puke at any second.

It's interesting to note that Phish-heads one on one aren't that bad, maybe even interesting. If you happen to be at a gathering where only one of them happens to be there, it's kinda neat. You could say they're unique.

But you get them all in one place and Airwick stock goes up.

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