2004-10-03 ~ 3:21 p.m.

OK, Fine. You're Not ALL Jackasses

Astralounge writes to me:
"Maybe the people who don't tip aren't jackasses. Maybe they just don't know. How can you learn if you don't read a dealer's diary?"

Yes, absolutely correct. That is true. And I try my best to remember this all the time. Some people simply don't know. Some people have never worked in the service industry, some people have never had anyone they know work in the service industry.

I used to live with three people, and we'd go out to drink, and one of them would buy a round and they wouldn't tip the bartender or they would only give the bartender $1 for our 4 drinks, and I would yell out something like, "YOU'RE GOING TO TIP THE BARTENDER, RIGHT?????" Cause I'm subtle like that. (Or, as they put it, I'm a "snatch"... ) It was simply something they never ever thought about.

My mom was a bartender, waitress and a dealer (not all at the same time) when I was younger, so this is something that I've always thought about. I think it's imprinted on my DNA now. There are times when I'm traveling and I'll tip someone, and they'll look at me like I have three heads.

So, there's my problem. I know so well how to tip that I almost can't fathom someone else not knowing how to tip. So, my brain automatically goes into "Jackass, jackass, you're a jackass, I hate you, jackass, Mr. McJackassy Ass." (but this is usually after they've won a whooole bunch with no sign of tipping.)

I would get into a lot of trouble if I hustled, so I can't put the idea into their heads.

And I'm really bad at hustling anyway. Sometimes I do light hustles like if their from England, and the cocktail waitress comes by, they usually don't tip her because they don't know to, so I'll say "I'm not sure that you know, but it's customary to give the waitress a tip when she delivers a drink to you." Most English folk thank me, then sometimes they'll ask, "Oh, should I tip you as well?" And how can I say no to that? :D Also, if it seems like people don't know to tip, and someone else at the table is tipping, I'll be my usual subtle self and say, "WOW THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THAT TIP!!! I CERTAINLY APPRECIATE THAT TIP!! MAY THE GODS SHINE BRIGHTLY UPON YOU FOR BEING THE GENEROUS TIPPER THAT YOU ARE!!!" Then I pound it on the table and make a big show of putting it in my toke box. (I'm supposed to tap it on the table to denote to the camera that it is a tip, but pounding it when I'm screaming thank you is a better show.) Sometimes when I'm really aggravated, I'll finally say, "Give the dealer some love." And most people know what I mean. Then others just say, "Oh yeah! Thank you!!!".... :| And even though I KNOW that it's probably because they don't know how to tip, it doesn't stop me from wanting to beat them senselessly about the head and neck.

It's the nature of the job. It embitters everyone. Even people with INCREDIBLY shiny dispositions, even they go through cycles of serious burnout.

There are no goals to our job. There's nothing challenging to it. The ONLY joy we have are tips. We have to worry about EVERYTHING. If one customer decides they're having a bad day, and they don't like a dealer and complains, yeah, that comes back to us. We get written up even if the customer is just (yeah, my favorite word) a jackass.

Sure, you can say that I should get a new job if this one is only going to make me a bitter old person with lung cancer.... but I think there are only two of you out there that are doing what you actually want, so tongue sticky outty to you. If you tell me how to treat you at your job, I'll follow the rules.

So... that is what I did on my summer vacation...

{ previous ~ next }