2004-09-23 ~ 4:30 a.m.

Stupid And Seizures

Sooooooooooo....... Being a blackjack dealer has some advantages. Like, for one, I know I'm not the STUPIDEST PERSON ON THIS ENTIRE PLANET.

I mean, I've known this for awhile, but then someone does something that makes me go OH GEEZUS...

Like counting with their fingers. Now, I know some of you can't count fast, and I understand that. I look at cards 8 hours a day (well, actually 6 when you take out the breaks) ok, so 6 hours a day, 5 days a week. And, yes, I'm fairly good at it, so I can merely glance at 4 cards and tell you how much it is. But, ya know, when you're holding "7" in your hand, and I hit you with a "10"...... it's gonna be exactly TEN more than what you have in your hand. 7 & 10...7-10...seven-ten.. SEVENTE(E)N... And this girl would count with her fingers EVERYTIME. We're even talking if she was holding a 2 and a 3.

The best part was that she never cheered or jeered until after I either paid her or took her money, as she was never quite sure how many I had.

If you are this stupid, I highly recommend playing blackjack where they deal it face up and the dealer can count for you. This way, the dealer won't sign on to their blog and talk about how much of an idiot they had to deal with. Because, as you can clearly see, it happens.

However, this is a good creative idea for me. I can just tell ya'll dealing stories everyday. I have a story everyday. I'm practically given a story everyday. And, it certainly would be a helluva lot more interesting than what I've been telling you. "Oh look, I'm engaged, Oh look, I'm married, Oh look, I have an adorable dog."... yeah, I might do that.

The day actually started out.......

My husband and I went to our fav-o-rite Vietnamese restaurant. We got this fantastic thing where they give you a plate of raw beef and shrimp, a plate of vegetables, some rice paper, and a little grill for you to grill the meats, and wrap them up in the rice paper with the vegetables... MMMmmmmmmmmm... If ever you're in the Las Vegas are, (and I think I've said this before) get in touch with me, and we shall grill meats together.

So, the husband (rally edition) goes up to pay. In the meantime, this guy who was sitting by the register makes some really weird gutteral noises, walks six steps, spills his ashtray, but keeps a hold of it, then stops. He stares at me for a bit. I look away but keep him in my field of vision in case he makes any sudden movements. The people that work there asked him (in Vietnamese) (and, yes, I do understand a little) "What's wrong?" "what are you doing?" He didn't answer. He just stood there, then he looked around the restaurant.

I looked at him. I looked at the waiters. The waiters looked at me. The waiters looked at him. We looked at him. We looked at each other. The guy made the six step journey back to where he started. He made another gutteral noise. Stared at the waiter that was rolling silverware. A waiter asked him again, "What's going on?" During this, my husband made his way back to me and said, "So, I guess this would be a good time to leave."

The guy made a few more gutteral noises, and that's when the convulsions started.

As in any emergency, we all just kinda stared at him for a second before any of us responded. He fell to the floor. Me and another waiter started for him, my husband said, "Do you know what to do." To which I honestly replied, "No." And went to help him.

Here's what I know... Don't put a spoon in their mouth. It doesn't do them any good. They're not going to swallow their tongue. And a damn spoon in someone's convulsing mouth can cause chipped teeth or a injured jaw. I know, in the event of vomiting, roll them to their side so that they don't choke on it.

So, I'm on the floor next to the guy. I'm trying to move him away from the counter that he fell next to because as he convulsed, he would hit his head against the counter. I noticed he had vomited a little, so I'm trying to tell the waiter to roll him on his side. The waiters.......well... they don't speak a lot of English there, so he's trying to pull him up. I tell him to stop. So he stops. I say "Push him to his side." So, naturally, he tries to pull him up again. Rinse, rather, repeat until my husband finally says, "FACE HIM THAT WAY!!!"

Then another waiter decides to put a spoon in his mouth. And, dammit, I let him do it. I couldn't find the words to tell him not to. There just wasn't time to argue. And it's a lot harder arguing with someone who hardly understands you. I've tried to do it since I was 7 and it just doesn't work. So, I let him have his little spoon thing since the convulsions were subsiding at this point.

In the meantime, someone had managed to call 911. The operator on the phone told us to roll the guy to his side, and we didn't have to do anything else until the ambulance got there...

The convulsions were completely over, the guy was on his side. He looked incredibly confused, so I just kinda rubbed his back until the ambulance got there. I figured, there would be nothing more annoying in the world than coming out of something like that just to have a group of strangers staring at you. So, I sat with him, rubbed his back to let him know someone was there. He just laid there and rested.

He tried to leave when the paramedics got there. And, apparently that's normal to be a little aggressive after a seizure. We got him sat down, though, and the owner's son interpreted for him. He didn't really know where he was. I think also he wasn't really quite sure why they were asking him those questions. I had to leave, and they didn't need me anymore, so I didn't see what happened. I'm sure I'll find out the next time I go to the restaurant...which will probably be Sunday.

Anyway... I've looked it up, and now so that you know... Here's how to keep someone safe if they are having a seizure.

During a seizure:

Protect the person from injury. If possible, keep the person from falling. Try to move furniture or other objects that might cause injury during the seizure.
Do not force anything, including your fingers, into the person's mouth. This may cause injuries such as chipped teeth or a fractured jaw. You could also get bitten.
Do not try to hold down or move the person.
Try to stay calm.
Pay close attention to what the person is doing so you can describe the seizure to rescue or health professionals.
Time the length of the seizure, if possible.
After a seizure:

Check the person for injuries.
Turn the person onto his or her side when the seizure ends and he or she is more relaxed.
If the person is having trouble breathing, use your finger to gently clear the mouth of any vomit or saliva.
Loosen tight clothing around the person's neck and waist.
Provide a safe area where the person can rest.
Do not give the person anything to eat or drink until he or she is fully awake and alert.
Stay with the person until he or she is awake and familiar with the surroundings. Most people will be sleepy or confused after a seizure.

So. Now you know.

Is it bad that during the seizure (and especially after the vomit) all I could think of was "Please don't make me have to perform CPR, please don't make me have to perform CPR.."

Still no word from Hollywood....

ANN MARGRET IS TOTALLY HOT!

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