2002-06-03 ~ 9:06 a.m.

Nothin' But A G Thang

My Supercilious friend (I would have put in a link to his page there, but I am not that uber-cool) is actually my source of inspiration to write today.

He came in to see me at my work. Well, he didn't come in to see ME, but he was there to see La Femme, and I happened to be in the pit in front of the theatre, but for ego's sake, we'll say that he went into see me and happened to have time to catch a show while he was there.

He ended up writing about it. (Supercilious.diaryland.com, go there, go there NOW).

He SAYS that he wasn't enthralled by the t&a. Something about female body as an art form. Blah, yada, blah.

Actually I believe him. I really do.

I've heard a lot about the show and how it's tastefully done. (Fun fact: since you can't actually have pubic area frontal nudity where alcohol is served, in the parts where there is pubic nudity, they are actually wearing pubic wigs. This tickles me to no end. Cause then I wonder, "So, like, do they have, like, holiday wigs? Like maybe a Christmas ones with tinsel and ornaments? OOH!! Flashy lights?)

Ok, (ahem) moving on.... oh wait... nope, can't move on. PUBIC WIGS!!! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhahahhahahahaha.

(sigh) ok. So, my friend went on about the show and, more importantly, about the female figure and how he can't understand anyone not appreciating the female body in all its glory. He went on to describe his fascination. The pure, unbridled fascination he has with a woman's body. He goes on to mention how he wants nothing more than to gush his thoughts and sentiments towards a woman without the fear of being crushed by said woman to turn around and say that he is smothering her or is too clingy.

I know exactly what he's talking about. I feel the way he feels towards women towards men. I mean, don't get me wrong, women are great, but I really, really like men. I really like them a lot. I've even been known to love one or two of them.

I think what we're talking about here is sensuality. The women of La Femme are put in a very sensual light, so to speak. And, again, the female body is just a more sensual form. But men have it too. Women are more emotional creatures. I think that's why, in essence, our sensuality shines through more givingly than men. Besides, I think if there was a male revue comparable to La Femme, we would just assume that they were all gay. (nod)

But men. Wow. I tell you what, wow. When I see a man's sensuality, when a man can carry himself with that confidence without conceit, especially when I see "the look," I do everything I can to see it again.

Like Supercilious, I have been the smothering one. I have been the clingy one. And I hated the labels. It's frustrating to appreciate someone so much to no avail. It's also frustrating to try to explain to that person how perfect they are. Now that I'm thinking about it, it's frustrating to explain to the world how perfect that person is.

I think G and I come from the same school of thinking in refusing to hold this appreciation back from the person that we're dating. To me, it doesn't make sense to. I throw every thread of passion I can into it. It doesn't make sense not to. I've gotten burned.......over.....and over......and over..... and I can admit that there were times when I got pretty damned stupid about it. But I haven't relented. I can't. As I see it, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't appreciate the appreciation I have for them.

I'll admit that when I was younger, I didn't feel this way. (Much younger, teenage years.) I would "go out" with someone, and there would always be something about them that would just grate on me until I finally broke up with them. Really stupid ass shit too.

But then I fell in love. I learned what passion was. And that was my downfall.

The best way I can describe it is to say that I can look at my lover and actually feel like I want to cry. The awe. The beauty of him. (I have a rising feeling in my chest, I'm making unclear hand signals, and I'm exhaling to try and describe it.) So, there you have it.

I know there are games I'm supposed to play. I know I'm supposed to be coy. I read the table of contents of "The Rules," but that's not me.

I don't like to bring up how happy I am with the guy I'm with right now because I know it just makes for boring reading. No one wants to read about a happy chick. But I figure, only about 4 people read this, and I know all of you, so bugger off. Either you read it now or I tell you about it later. Which isn't to say that if you read it, I won't tell you about it anyway.

I think the guy I'm with now can appreciate my appreciation. One night (I think it's important that I put the term "pre-coitus" right about here) he even mentioned how it's nice to be with someone that does appreciate him.

We work together and we decided that we weren't going to go around telling people. Yeah, that's not working out for me. So, I'm tacfully telling people but telling them that it's on the "DL." Not to mention, it shouldn't be that hard to figure out considering I can't take my eyes off if him anytime he's anywhere near me. Which I think will be great fun the day I'm passing him at his table, looking at him, and run right smack into someone walking towards me. Because Iiiiiiiiii am the picture of grace. Not to mention that if that does happen, I'll most likely be running into Charles Berkley, as that is my way. Heh... with as tall as he is.... two stones, one bird.

Hoorah, I've managed to make this entry really suck. And it was so promising at the beginning. I'll think about cleaning it up later.

For now, I'm tired, bugger off.

{ previous ~ next }