2002-05-25 ~ 4:54 a.m.

Mine-comp

I've spent a few months of my life being depressed. I mean.... not right now. Right now I'm having a dandy time. The problem is I keep finding myself dwelling on my deep-seated psychological problems that keep finding a way to my consciousness.

These same fears were the root of my depression. I don't know if I've found healing or if Deep Seated Psychological Problem and I have just become such good friends that I don't find her to be as much of a hinderance anymore. Granted, she's that friend that I don't take out in public because of something loathsome (and not a little bit embarrassing) that she would undoubtedly say.

DS calls me every now and then. Generally, there's a week a month (yes, THAT week) that she sometimes calls me every night. Ya know, she also likes to call a lot when I have a boyfriend. More particularly, she calls when I have a boyfriend that I really like. You would think that I would learn and not tell her about specifics of the guy. I think it's quite possible that she gets jealous and doesn't want to see me happy.

Sometimes she gives advice. Sometimes I take it. Usually to my detriment. It's just that we've been friends for so long, I don't understand why she would give me bad advice.

Sometimes when we talk, she bad mouths our other friend, Initiative. Really, it almost makes sense. I mean, Initiative comes around when it comes to meeting people, then she leaves when it involves other areas of my life.

Personally, I would like to get to know Initiative better. She seems like a good kid. She's probably a little scared of DS's and my relationship. I mean, DS and I have been hanging out since I was 5 at least, and Initiative and I just know each other in passing.

I could blame it on the way I was raised. My mom's friend, Initiative, didn't hang around our house much, so it only makes sense that she didn't bring her daughter.

Sure, logically, now I can only really blame myself for the company I keep. It's just that the more I think about it, it just seems that things would be a lot easier for me now if my mom would have invited them over more often.

I might have even been able to meet Well Adjusted.

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