2002-01-31 ~ 10:06 p.m.

Older Men VS. Younger Men

I've always considered 25 to be the perfect age. I was never sure why, but it just always seemed to be a great age to be. I've come to realize a greatness of being this age, not that it matters in the grand scheme, but it's just really cool.

I'm young enough to be considered a "younger woman" by older men, and I'm old enough to be considered an "older woman" by younger men.

HOT DAMN! I'm everyone's fantasy all at once.

The only problem is, what kind of man do *I* want. I tried to go out with men my age, but I think they are going through the same thing I am. We're in the middle of being both "younger" AND "older," which for 25 year old men, translates into that they are idiots. Oh, sure, most men are, but it seems particularly apparent in this age bracket.

Regardless of what I say in real life, I do actually like older men. They've sorted out what's important and what isn't, and are well on their way to collecting their 401K. (Money isn't really an issue, I just like saying 401K.) Older men have wonderful things to talk about. They've had amazing experiences. As a rule, they know how to kiss. I also really like being with people that I can learn from. I try to make friends who I know know more than I. (It makes me look intelligent when around stupid people.)Generally, this means older people. (I said "generally" which doesn't count the only two people that actually read this crappy page that are more intelligent than me and younger :) )

The problem with older men, though, is that they have too much confidence in being older. On the most part, it's become not only me learning things from them, but also them teaching me. It sounds redundant, but the difference is that they get the idea that I know nothing and treat me like a child. I'm a short woman, and I have this tiny voice, and I'm a teensy tad tired (yay alliteration) of everyone treating me like a child.

So, I usually end relationships because of it, and no I don't tell them why. Christ, they're old enough, they should be able to figure it out. (Kidding.)

Actually, the problems arise when it comes to sex or talking about sex. This is where their confidence annoys me the most. This is the part where them trying to teach me something is actually rather arrogant. I've had sex. Dammit, I've had lots of sex. Yeah, sure, you ask your partner "what do you like?" but I don't think it's the appropriate time to say, "Hey, check this out."

I recently dated an older man. TWICE my age, might I add. He's a really great guy. One problem is that I work with him, and the second problem is......well.... he has kids not only my age, but older than me. That's just too weird. It was really difficult, but I managed to NOT ask if they were single.

So, another reason I don't prefer dating older men is because I like to share new experiences with my partner. Older men have already had the marriage and the children. It's nothing new. That's a little disappointing to me.

I think out of the two, I probably like younger men better. My experiences with them are just more entertaining and maybe even more fulfilling. That's most likely due to me trying to hang on to my misspent youth.

Younger men don't have *more* passion, but they're still willing to use their passion. They have not yet been hurt enough to not want to put their heart on the line. They give everything they can. It's refreshing to bitter old spinsters like me.

Recently, I even got to date one for a week. Cute kid. I really enjoyed his company, but I did get the full effect of the downsides of dating someone younger than me.

For one, box of rocks. Not that all younger guys are stupid, far from it, but sometimes it was difficult to carry on a conversation. I hang on to the hope that he enjoyed listening to me as I enjoy listening to other people.

Another part of me felt guilty......kinda. It just seemed like he should be sharing time with someone his age. I almost felt like I was stealing part of his essence for my own personal gain. I thought about how I am disappointed with older men because they have already done and seen things, and I just really hoped that I didn't come across as trying to teach him things. Thinking back, I probably did. So, I'm not really sure how I would fair in a full relationship with a younger man.

Sexually, I'm pretty sure I prefer it with younger men. Older men seem like they put on the "sex cap" and do what they've been doing for years. With younger men, you get what I refer to as "the shiver." They get next to you, and you can hear them trying to quietly breathe hard. You look into their eyes, and you know that there is nowhere they would rather be, no one from their past that they would rather be with. Older men would probably be golden if they could remember how to do that.

Spinsters like me dig that stuff.

{ previous ~ next }