2002-01-29 ~ 6:44 a.m.

THE ex.

One comment that has always bothered me no matter how many times I hear it is "I stay friends with ALL my ex-girl/boyfriends."

SO????

Is this really a point of honor? Is this something to be proud or even happy about? Can't you make any other friends?

Kidding......sort of.

I wonder about what people specifically mean when they say it. Do they just mean that they exchange idle pleasantries when traveling in the same circles as their exes? Or do they REALLY stay friends with their exes?

I think it would be silly to stay close to an ex. Even damned unhealthy. Sometimes it's hard to hear that an ex is doing especially well without you, but to not be "with them" but still close and to contribute to that happiness?? That won't do. Then, say you get a jealous girl/boyfriend. They could probably deal with the fact that you have opposite sexed friends, sure, most of us have them....but one that you've slept with?

Don't get me wrong, there are a few exes that I've stayed friends with. One is a magician and can get free tickets to various shows around Vegas, so I HAD to stay friends with him.

And then there's THE ex. THE ex of all exes. (You know which one I'm talking about, we've all had one.)The one that you made long range plans with; the one that you had retarded pet names for each other; the one that's heard you fart; most likely the one in your senior prom picture.

I wouldn't classify mine as a friend, but I wouldn't say that he's not a friend either. More accurately, we would be friends if his wife would let him.

Here's the game we play:

1) We don't talk for months. (More often years.)

2) Something in his life goes to shit.

3) He calls me.

4) We don't talk for months. (More often years.)

Usually, it's because he's fighting with his girlfriend or wife, whatever he happens to have at the time. Afterwards, they always get back together.

Hey, this reminds me of that Ani DiFranco song.

So, he called me a couple of days ago. I swear to GOD/S/DESSESS that he just did it to piss me off. They're not even fighting now. Eh, they probably would if she found out, except I probably wouldn't be the one he calls if she found out from me.

There's just a myriad of emotions that happens when you talk to THE ex, isn't there? I'm still not sure how to feel about it.

On the one hand, I'm so happy that he still thinks of me as a friend that he can turn to, but then, it makes me think of why we're not together. I'm happy that we have great conversations and laugh a lot, but then after we say "good bye" I won't hear from him for another year at least.

And his VOICE...

It's still the same voice that comforted me when I was down, the voice that gave me courage when I felt weak. It was the one and only voice that said "I love you" with such intensity and passion, the only voice that ever really meant it.

I hate the fact that I still miss him, and it should really annoy me that he rarely calls, and when he does it's because he needs to vent.

"But I learned something today..."

(If you've moved out of your parents' house) Calling your parents gives you a sense of "home." When your parents are too annoying to talk to, there are friends that you call to give you that sense of home. I realized during the phone conversation, I'm still home for him.

I can live with that.

{ previous ~ next }