2003-09-20 ~ 5:15 a.m.

Tip One For Our Homies In The Sky

Bueno Suerte. This has been another case where I have this great, fun entry and I lose it for some stupid reason and then just not getting the energy to do it all again.

I still haven't gotten up the energy to write the same one, so, instead......

I was hit with a bit of uncomfortable news. Not about me or anyone I deeply care about. Just something that makes you go, "Hm? Hmmm."

A cocktail waitress at work took her own life. Someone in a different department. I didn't even know her that well. We spoke once or twice. Exchanged the "hello" look while I was dealing and she was serving cocktails to the players. Her life didn't affect mine nor mine hers.

Until today, of course. Fiance and I were out to get a late dinner. I had the day off and he had worked. On the way there, he says, "You know the cocktail waitress, Nita?" I say, "yeah," and expect him to give me an update on her medical condition, (she had a seizure at work a couple weeks back,) or a humorous anecdote of an exchange they might have had during the night, but no.

"She killed herself. They found her body this evening."

I can't really describe how I feel about it. I mean, it upsets me and it probably upsets me more than it should since I didn't know her and all, but bloody hell.

She was a really neat girl. When I had my Lego watch, she noticed it and showed me her Scooby Doo watch and told me how she likes silly watches too. She was a really beautiful girl. Malato, big beautiful expressive eyes. And she had these great shapely arms. I mention the arms because one of my players one time asked what she did to make her arms look so great and she said that that's just how they are. Her brothers are the same way. In fact, she really has to watch it that she doesn't too much with her arms when she works out or they get too big. (Wouldn't that be a great problem to have?)

But she was sooo sweet. I would have added a lot more o's, but I don't think you would take me seriously. I mean it though. She was SO sweet. She was always smiling. Always. ALL------WAYS!!!

Ok, I guess I have to take back what I wrote earlier. It's not that she didn't affect me. She did. There were times where I really wanted to know what it was like to be her. She seemed so happy, had a great attitude, beautiful, great body, and she wasn't a dumb bimbo. I wondered what it would be like to be so happy. Wondered what I would have to think and in what order to have such a sunny disposition as that.

Well, apparently she got a divorce recently. I guess she had been getting into drugs, and really didn't feel that she was connecting well with people.

It really doesn't make sense. Even with those issues it just doesn't seem like enough to want it to all end.

I always make it a point to try to talk to people who don't seem to talk to too many people. Ya know, in all those after-school specials they always make you think that if you can change just one life........ but bloody hell, she always seemed on top of the world. It didn't seem like there was anymore to do for her.

I feel bad that she took her own life. It's a shame. The truly sad part is that before she did it, she left a message on more than a few people's answering machine. Even when she tried to reach out, there wasn't anyone there. I guess life just happens to people sometimes.

Good luck, Nita.

And, to you, thanks for letting me bring down your day.

{ previous ~ next }