2003-05-28 ~ 3:07 a.m.

Part TWO Of International Goodness

WHAT I DID ON MY SUMMER VACATION!!

SECOND IN THE SERIES

I thought that I would do this later tomorrow, but, dammit, I'm on a roll, and I'm kinda bored. So, if you're just tuning in, the pictures started last entry. Two entries ago was an introduction that didn't really introduce anything except how retarded I am....... so, I guess, it didn't really introduce anything.

The second day of the cruise was a "Fun Day At Sea." It takes a day of sailing to get where we were going. We didn't take any pictures during the day, but there were a few at night.

Our day consisted of sitting in the sun and then later getting massages. I fell asleep in the sun, which created my oddly shaped chest sunburn. I mentioned before that Betrothed, Rally Edition says it looks like the Transformers shield. There are pictures where you can judge for yourself. Yay you. If you were wondering, the burn has now turned to a tan which is 10 shades darker than the rest of my skin. I actually kinda feel like a care bear.

I mentioned that the rocking of the boat was so soothing. I will mention this again. It helped me do a lot of sleeping.

Before I fell asleep in the sun, I partook of a Pina Colada with an umbrella. For the past three months I spoke often of my umbrella clad pina colada. BRE got it for me, but it wasn't what I had fantasized about. The drink was good enough, but things get awfully windy on a boat. BRE found it cute to get me 4 umbrellas for my drink. One of them went overboard right away. Another may have poked out the eye of an unsuspecting swimmer a deck below. Another floated in the drink and turned my pina colada blue. On top of that, since it was also warm outside, and I was leaning back in a chair, the condensation dripped onto my bare midriff. No.... my fantasy pina colada was not as wonderful as I had hoped. I managed to move on.

We had lost our friends before this. I figured we would all hang out in the sun together. While we were laying out, though, I looked up to the deck in front of us and noticed a guy with a camera. I mention this because our new friends were complete camera freaks. It was pretty funny. I'm not sure the guy was able to enjoy what it was that he was photographing. Though, as I could probably prove here, it's almost as much fun sharing the photos. (By the way, yes, it was them.)

We had scheduled our massages right before dinner. We always manage to be late to everything, so this was a good way to do that. We were, however, really early for the massages. This is where the rocking made me fall asleep on the massage table. I think I need to invent something to make my bed rock at night. That would ROCK!

I wasn't always aware of the movement of the boat. Mostly when I was lying down. Sometimes while walking I would stumble a little, but that's also normal for me. The neatest was when I was in that wonderful shower though. I really noticed the movement of the boat as I had my eyes closed to rinse out my hair. THEN I really felt like I was moving. I would equate it to having one's eyes closed while in a car. (I suggest trying this while being a passenger and not the driver.) You never really get to know what it's like to take a shower in a car.

I also noticed the movement of the boat while I was on shore. It's funny what your body gets used to.

So, this first picture of today was when we were getting ready for the formal dinner. They like to have formal dinner on these boats. Because of our massages, we missed the Captain's gala thingy. I don't think we missed much though except for a little extra food and a little entertainment.

TOWELHEAD! AND I DON'T MEAN THAT IN A RACIAL WAY

Speaking of the entertainment on the boat. It sucked. IT SUCKED ASS! IT SUCKED WORSE THAN ASS! They had two "Vegas style" shows. Yeah, we were like, "oh, yeah... great." We're hoping that they hired the dancers the week before.

The formal dinner was nice though. The food for all the dinners was good. I wouldn't say fantastic or anything. It was also all very weird. They made some really funky stuff. There was one night where I had a duck appetizer. It came with this glop of gloppy stuff that had maybe a pate taste to it, but it was gloppy. It was like pate flavoured jello. FUNKY! I just wasn't ready for that jelly.

I'm not really a formal person, but since BRE had gone on a cruise before, he warned me that people got really dressed up for the dinners. I panicked and bought a couple of cocktail dresses. However, even though he warned me, he felt a little weird the first formal night because all the men treated it as a black tie affair. He had brought no black ties. I don't think he even owns a dinner jacket. His idea of formal is khakis, a black t-shirt, and some silk type button up over that. And, really, that's fine with me. I don't think there's a place in Vegas that won't accept that for elegant dining. Of course, as Vegans, we are not required to acknowledge "fashion sense" and what it means.

BUT WE SURE DID LOOK HOT!

I didn't mention for you to look for my stunning designer sunburn because it will be coming up in a few short photographs.

This next one is of the guy portion of our new friends. It's an action shot. I just thought it was really cool. We were just going to take a picture of him for some reason, and right as the shutter closed, his wife walked up. It works. This was my second favourite picture up to this point of the vacation.

HOLY CRAP! HE'S TURNING INTO AN AGENT!!!

This next one is just a picture of our friends in line for dinner in their formal dress. She looks a little naked, but I assure you, she is clothed. They are very conservative, those Oklahomans. I also think nakedness at dinner would have been frowned on.

I am specific about the nakedness at dinner thing because there was, in fact, a "topless optional" deck for sunbathing. I did not partake only because I didn't do much sunbathing. I would have though..... I swear.

These pictures were taken in front of the piano bar of the ship. There was a piano and bar seating around the piano. The bar seating was dressed up to look like a big, circular piano. It was clever, and I didn't take pictures.

HEY! SPEAKING OF PICTURES!!

And, here we go with the sunburn picture. You will probably not even notice the cake with a candle sitting in front of me, so I will explain that next picture. I do feel, however, that the SPF 15 on the rest of me protected me just as well as SPF 45 would have. I note this because of my otherwise still-pasty-white skin.

CAREBEAR POWER!

I think a part of a cruise ship's charm is to try to make everyone feel part of something. They force the customer service issue almost to an extreme. Granted, some of the employees could have used a little 'tude-up, but you could tell that they were really supposed to part of an elite customer serving team.

That night, our waiter asked if it was any of our birthdays. BRE said it was mine since mine had just happened. Then our waiter asked our friends how long they had been married to which they replied, "Almost 5 years." Of course, "almost" being in about 7 months. So they brought out two cakes. One for me and one for them. During the course of the week, everyone on the ship got a cake. Some maybe even twice. And we got it to very heavily accented singing. If it was your anniversary, it went as follows; "Happy 'nryversary to you. kissy-kissy. Happy 'nryversary to you. come ON! kissy-kissy!" There was one couple who really got into the kissy kissy, and the waiters hung a napkin over them for privacy while they sang.

The cakes themselves weren't that good. Alright, but not good. Though, it was better than the cake at lunch that day. The cake at lunch was very moist. It didn't taste like anything, which was weird. It was white cake, but it wasn't white cake. It was just....cake. But, wooha, it was moist. The cake at dinner was very much white cake, but white cake that had been sitting there, quite possibly, since the cruise the week before.

BUT HOT DAMN! I GOT TO BLOW OUT ANOTHER CANDLE!

The cakes were fitten for at least 6 people, so having two on our table was a waste. Though, we firmly believe that the reason we got them on the same night was so that or waiter wouldn't have to pretend to be nice to us more than once.

During the dinners from this first formal night on, they had the waiters perform. Either they would sing or dance. It was all done rather poorly, but it was cute. The maitre d' (yes I had to look that up) would tell a really bad joke, then he would introduce the waiters. This first night, the waiters sang a common Italian song that I can't think of the name right now. This was funny because of all the nations represented by the waiters, none of them were Italian.

This was the first night of the Vegas style show. I just remembered the entertainment of the night before, they just had a little show to get us familiar with the cruise director, introduce some of the shows that they were going to have. There was a comedian named Adam Ace who was downright awful. He said some funny things, but he relied too much on making fun of fat guys. Trying to get them to take their shirts off. I think the only thing that saved him was his quick retorts. He thought fast, I'll give him that, but what he depended on to be funny was terrible. He was totally hot though.

I was as close to being in tune with the universe than I have ever been (without being on drugs) on this vacation. Things happened so that they were things that I expected. People were where I wanted them to be. I only really got frustrated with my waiter.

I realized this at the end of the Vegas-style piece of crap. At the very end of the last dance, I thought, "Wow, that's terrible. All they need now is the shooting sparks." FOOSH! "Dammit." (You should try use your powers for actual good, you see.)

Anyway, this next picture was taken while we were walking back to our cabin. The halls were lined of pictures of ships. One of them looking eeeeerily like the Titanic. (nod)

OY! ICEBURG!

Everything that was flexible, edible, couldn't be nailed down was formed to be something else. For instance, food was carved and shaped to look like baskets of flowers and so forth. The BEST, though, were the folded towels. They left a little towel animal on our bed every night. I mean, not just ours, everyone else's too. We got gipped the first night and the last night. But it made for a bunch of fun.

There was a comedian the last night who was actually pretty funny. He mentioned the "And who here has taken picture of food? You realize it's food right? Do you go to McDonald's and think, 'OH, if only I'd brought my camera, for there is food.'" Then he did about the same bit about the towels.

And, YES, we did take pictures of the towels. The picture of the food comes later, though. At the end of the cruise, they sold little beany type animals make out of towel material that were shaped exactly like the towel animals that were left in our rooms. I was dangerously close to buying one, but for the first time in my life, I managed to say "NO TO CRAP!"

LITTLE PUPPY WUPPY ON THE BEDDY WEDDY

I'll admit they were pretty cool. Some people even got a monkey hanging off of their TV. We got no such animal, but our new friends did, and we managed to not take a picture of it.

The best part of the towel animals was that they helped in "necessary nightly use of towels" (wink, juknow what I'm talking about)(elbow elbow) without having to dirty up our allotted bathroom towels.

I'm pretty tired now. I think I'll do a little sleeping. I'm finally back on my work schedule sleeping pattern, which is good. I just kinda started to like to see the sun for a long time.

I think 4 of my friends just fell to the floor right there. Seriously, I actually got to the point that I was sad when the sun went down. It's usually quite the opposite.

Again, it's funny what your body gets used to. In this case, I got used to normal things. Maybe it's that whole Vitamin D thing. If I get depressed during the next few months, just remind me why.

And also... Today I learned that sometimes there is just no amount of hot water that will clean the gunk off of a brush.

Right. Sleep. Yeah. Woo.

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