2003-05-16 ~ 6:10 p.m.

Vay Kay Shee ON!

You should just eat this one in little nibbles because I'm going to be gone for a whole week.

I will be flying out of this bowlful of desert in 32 hours. I will be landing in a faroff land where I fully expect scantily clad latinas and Will Smith to greet me with "Bienvenidos a Miami."

And then onto the boat. A very large boat. A very large boat with promises of the Caribbean.

And I shall leave all of you behind.... except for the internet access that is available on the boat. I've wrestled with myself over if I'm going to use it. I may.... I may not. Right now I'm leaning towards "may not." I think you can understand. In the event that you don't understand, I'll be on vay kay shee ON! And I get enough of you ungrateful bastards throughout the rest of the year.

I plan to weigh at least 10 pounds more than I do right now by the time I get back. And, goddammit, for the first time in my life, I'm going to wear it proudly....and then I'll go to the gym and be all neurotic for the next 6 months. I figure it this way, I already have the ring. (Ergo, he's already bought the cow, I may as well give him one.) :D

And have I mentioned how disappointed I was with Matrix 2? I mean.... there was definitely kick ass stuff. But not enough. When they talk, they talk too much... when they fight, they fight too much. And they use that one special effect ENTIRELY too much. It was uber-cool the first time. It would still be cool this time if they would have used it about 14 times less than they actually did. Of course, the fight scene with Jet Li OWNED. Otherwise, it was aiight. I had really been looking forward to the car chase scene, but it just wasn't as cool as I had hoped. I wanted a lot of slick near misses, but there were a bunch of smashed cars.

There was just a reason that the brothers are releasing the third one in november. They knew that if they would have left us with this one for two years, even one and a half years, we would lose interest long before the last one comes out. It's a good thing that they're smart.

I've realized that right now I have a problem with funny. I just don't know where I am in my funny. Funny changes. Just the other day someone said, "Can't we all just get along," and seemed to seriously expect me to laugh. So, I know I'm not at that level of SUCK of funny. But then I see other people that I find very funny who have this bitterness edge to them. I don't like the bitterness edge. Where some people are simply below them. You know the type. (Hell, some of you are the type.) And though I have bitterness towards people who say "Can't we just get along?" I've decided to try real hard not to get bitter towards the rest of the populace. Because sometimes.... they have a lot of funny.

Except for stupid bastard old men that gawk at women's breasts and don't let you try on more than 6 swimsuits per day. And 18 year old chicks who don't know that "sellin' like hotcakes" predates them.

I may update again before I go.

I may not.

Right now I'm leaning towards may not.

You understand.

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