2003-04-06 ~ 5:43 a.m.

I Wanna Be Rich

I always get in the habit of not updating often. I apologize. I think of wild and crazy stuff everyday to write, but I never do it.

Of course, I used to think I was a lot better at writing than I actually am.

I used to think I was really good. I mean, REALLY good. Then I go and read other people's diaries and realize I'm just like everybody else. This is disconcerting because I already know that I'm like everybody else, but I just wanted some proof otherwise. Ya know? You go through life KNOWING that you represent at least 20% of the population someway or another, but just want ONE thing about you to be in the 1%. (And not something tragic like SARS or something.)

I used to think that maybe my way of thinking or way with words was maybe a LITTLE different than most everyone. And I look around, and I constantly find people SO much more funny and insightful than I.

It's a little disconcerting.

Of course..... I'm in love. That might be it.

In other news, I'm looking for a complete professional overhaul. I'm looking to do something else for money. Currently, I deal casino games. Sure, it sounds mighty cool at first, but it sucks. It sucks big time. It sucks big, fat rhino dick....and not in the way you get paid big cash for fetish video way.

Sure, I make about 50 grand a year. I know there are TONS of people who would literally kill people for that kind of cash. To which I say, "Hold out for more. Human life is precious......mostly." But I hate it so very much. I almost cry when I go to work because of how much I hate it. It's almost not worth it.

Also, I think I have social anxiety. I've felt this for awhile. Then I wonder if I have social anxiety, or if the people I interact just annoy me with their stupidity. It could be both. Either way, I don't want to deal with that many people a day. Stupid or otherwise.

I think I've decided to go into medical transcriptioning. If you know anything about it, let me know.

So far, I think it is about perfect for me. I have a fairly good command of the English language and its use of grammar. I used to be a medical assistant so I have a bit of heads up for the terminology. I type real fast. AND I could do it from home. It just about sounds perfect.

I'm still working out too. I haven't given that up. I've become a little disheartened in that too though. Sure, I can do 250 situps almost without blinking...... but I'm not seeing the change in my body. And that blows almost as much rhino dick as working at a casino.

I just can't give up In-n-Out though.

Blarg.... I go to sleep now.

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