2009-05-03 ~ 8:11 a.m.

Dear Joint,

Dear Weed,

I love you! I love you! I love you!

10 years we�ve been together. The high times and the low times�and the �high� times!! Ell Oh Ell!! You�ve made things more interesting. You certainly made food taste better. Oh, and the great food combinations I came up with! Rye Bread dipped in that Tostito�s Salsa Con Queso.. Poor Man�s Fondue! Oh, that shit was the BEST!!

I appreciate what you�ve done for me. You�ve helped me avoid a lot of mistakes that Alcohol would have led me right into. I would even give you credit for more than a few of my witty retorts. Boy, you can come up with some good zingers! I�m going to miss that.

Oh, I guess I should tell you�I don�t think we should see each other anymore.

Well, I�m 33 years old now, and it just feels like it�s getting a little sad. I know there are people like Willie Nelson and Snoop who are blazin� ev-er-y-day, but they have lots of people around them to clean up after then and remind them when they need to be somewhere or do something. I don�t have those people. I have you, and you don�t tell me to do shit. In fact, you talk me out of doing a lot of shit that I wanted to do. (I really wanted to go to Pride today, by the way.) Plus, I'm tired of acting retarded. I mean, I know when I'm sober, I'm going to say a lot of retarded shit still, but you made me say some REALLY dumb shit. I can only hope most of it clears up.

But I really am going to miss you. In fact, I really don�t know how I�m going to face tomorrow without you, but I have to. It�s just that time in my life. Everything is changing, and I feel like I have to be on my toes. I have a baby coming to my life. (No, not my own, but someone very close to me.) I have to learn how to be a good role model, so I need to get to practicing now. I�m going to guess it�s going to take a lot of work, and I�m probably going to freak the fuck out and wish you were there, but I really need to learn to do this on my own. I can�t not.

I still support you. I don�t mind seeing you with other people. In fact, I really hope that someday I�ll start to see you in public places. Maybe we can learn to be friends again, but I doubt it.. I never could control myself around you.

I don�t think we�re �over�. I think we have unfinished business. But that�s in the future, in a different time, in a different place. For now though, we�re through.

I think you should know that also, for now, Alcohol and I will still be seeing each other, but that relationship is changing too. Don�t be jealous. And don�t get mad when we see you at a party, and we don�t speak to you. I know when the three of us got together, times were wild, but Alcohol is easier to keep under control. God, Weed, if you could have just stayed in the freezer for longer. If an eighth of you could last a couple of months instead of just a week, this could have all been different. But our passion was just too intense.

Ah well.. such is life. What can we do?

I know that you�ll be there for me as soon as I want you back, but could you just do me a favor and try not to call me. When I see you with my friends, just be cool, ok?

I�ll always love you,
-FG.

Dear Alcohol,

I�m not fucking around with you. You are on a 2 drink MAXIMUM. If bile rises forth from my throat because of you, once, just ONCE, you and I are through.

You get one shot.

That�s IT!

Heh.. I meant one �chance�� I guess technically, it could be 2 shots, but I think a better use of my 2 drinks would be beers.

But you know what I mean..

I�m serious.

-FG.

{ previous ~ next }