2006-08-05 ~ 3:39 p.m.

Stupid Stupid Stupid

I am officially unhappy at my job.

I mean, sure, I alway mention how dealing steals a little piece of one's soul every day one does it... and that is true... but I hadn't been officially unhappy.

Well, they did it to me. They made me unhappy. I mean.. sure, I still ACT happy; I still need the money for chris'sakes, but WOW am I unhappy.

There's been a shuffle in management, and everytime that happens, there's a burst of micro-management, and there are several managers where micro-managing=heaven. So, the other day, I got kicked off a higher limit game not because I couldn't handle the amount of money coming in or going out, not because of how I was treating the customer, basically not because of anything that affects the "bottom line", but because of the way I picked up my cards.

My husband and I couldn't really figure out why there was a good reason to pick on us about how we pick up the cards. I mean, they want it so that our cards are on top in the discard rack, I can understand that... but the WAY I pick them up? Come on.

Before I was kicked off the game, the manager even used the words, "If you can't HANDLE it..." And, apparently, I couldn't "handle" it. I mean, I'm used to picking them up a different way, so, yeah, it looked awkward when I did it. It's kinda like when Jordan decided to play baseball. Or it's kinda like if you have a super menial job where all you do is screw in a bolt, and you're super good at screwing in that bolt, then all of a sudden somebody come and tells you that you have to screw in the bolt with your left hand (or right hand if you're a lefty).

But I'm sure the fabolous (sic[k])place I work has a super good reason for....blah whatever.

Anyway, since that has happened, I've been having a hard time getting out of bed. I remember the days when I would go to work and I would hate everyone so very, very much. I would fantasize about punching everyone in the face. But I started my spiritual path-y thingy, and I had gotten past that, and I thought that things were looking up. But.....not so much. However, on the grand scheme, I do now how much I am growing and maturing because the manager that pulled me off the game passed by last night and we had a few silly words to each other, whereas in the past I would have ignored his stupid shit for the rest of my life. So...that's good.

I do it all for the nookie.

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