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Designed by Kris 'Destral' Wilke at Destral.net

SO.... some of you may remember of me speaking of my terminally ill friend.

If not... it's HERE!

Anyway, I did manage to get my hands on a small amount of black market Lortab. It's probably only enough to get him through the next couple of weeks, but at least it will take the edge off for a little while.

It's been hard to get a hold of him for the past couple of weeks because he's been in the hospital and his boyfriend broke up with him, so he's back to living with his (horrible, dispicable, evil) dad, and he doesn't have a cell phone anymore.

He called me yesterday, and I told him that I have them, but that I have to work, but I get off at 4, so that's probably a little late. He told me that it was fine and go ahead and call, he doesn't sleep much anymore anyway. (Which kinda tears your heart out a little when someone terminal says that.) And I asked if that would wake up anyone else, and he said, "My dad, but he doesn't care."

So, 3:30 in the AM, I'm calling his house, and, of course, his dad answers. And he's pissed off. I mean, I don't blame him, so feeling more 15 at that moment than I ever felt even when I was 15, I tried to explain that I know it's late, but his son told me that it was ok to call. He told me what time it was, and I mentioned again that I understood what time it was, and I wouldn't have, but I just got out of work, and, again, his son told me it was ok because I some Lortab that I was going to drop off.

(You all winced a little, didn't you?) Yeah, see, in my world, we're all on the same side, so if I explain that the reason that I'm calling at 3:30 in the goddamn morning is because I have pain killers that are illegal because they weren't prescribed to me to give to his son who they also were not prescribed for but feels he needs them because of the amount of pain he's in from recurring Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, it would be ok.

And I was wrong.

So very, very wrong.

He made sure I knew that no, ma'am, there will NOT be Lortab dropped off at HIS house.

So, I felt like an ass. Then I felt like the teenager I was when I was getting my friend in trouble 10 years ago with his dad. Some things never change, yes?

Wait, it gets better.

So today my friend calls me and says, "I'm sorry, he's an ass, especially at 3:30 in the morning." And I said, "No problem." We chatted a little, and I went to go visit him across town. We met at a 7-11, so I could only assume his dad was not in the know of our meeting. I was right. He had told his dad that he was going to the neighborhood pool.

It was shocking to see him. I haven't seen him for years, we've just kept in touch online, and he's a shadow of his former self.....which is funny only because he used to have bulimia because he was fat. (He and I laughed at that, you can too.)

We drove around for a little bit, caught up on each other's lives. He told me of the "party" I was invited to sometime next year. (His funeral for those of you who need everything spelled out.) And we cried and cried and told each other how we had promised ourselves we weren't going to cry while the other was around.

I dropped him off in front of his complex, and got out and we hugged and kissed each other and told each other we would see each other sooner than later....

....then I hear this car honking and honking and it drives up, so my friend goes, "ah well," and I say, "I'm sorry," and my friend walks up to his dad's Mercedez. I go to get in my car, and I see his dad saying something, I believe motioning that he's been driving around and around looking for him and who is that girl? I considered getting back out of my car and giving my friend's dad a piece of my mind, but I decided that it probably wouldn't be productive at all for my friend, so his dad and I just eye-balled each other as I drove away. Mad mad-doggin'. I drove away slow too. I'm sure he totally caught my meaning.

Anyway, I got home, and my friend had e-mailed me and told me his dad is just an asshole like that, but "there's only so much he can do to me before it's all over."

Are 26 year olds supposed to talk like that? My friend has less than a year to live, and he's spending it in prison. It just doesn't seem like it's supposed to be that way. But, for him, it is.

My friend is gay. He used to be super bitchy gay. You know the type. It's why I love him. It's just really weird for me to see someone who used to go on hour long tirades about his dad just look at me and say, "He's lost control of the situation and doesn't know how to deal with it." Then instead of getting infuriated, storming off, and screaming every step of the way, he just looked at his dad, hung his head, and got in the car.

Sometimes, life sucks...

But on the bright side, I have this heinous rash that I got from switching detergents. Too bad *I* can't be on VH1's Best Week EVER!

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