2007-04-28 ~ 1:16 p.m.

I Deedn't Want To Doeet

Only I get the title, but that's ok. It's only my blog. HAH!

I've been waiting for 13 years to be summoned to be on a jury, and I finally got summoned!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

But it would be during my vacation.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

But they rescheduled it until after I get back.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

I hope I get picked. I don't know why I hope I get picked considering how early I have to be up in the morning for it and how late I work at night. I would have to try to get the nights off of work, so I wouldn't get paid... but I would be able to fatten up my bank account with the $40 a day for jury duty. Plus mileage. That's hot.

HEY! I'm going on vacation in Kauai! We have a reasonably priced condo 25 feet from the water. My plan was to go and lay on the beach. My husband's plan is to go on a helicopter ride, do a kayaking thing, do a tube ride thing, he'll probably want to try surfing again too. I'm down for the helicopter thing. I just didn't plan on exerting that much energy on my vacation. But I guess it is his anniversary too. Punk.

OH!!! I did karaoke the other night. I had a GREAT time! I've always looked through the book and pick out stuff that I *would* sing if I were to go up onstage, but never, ever did. This week a bunch of people from work met up because it was one girl's birthday (she's very popular), and her roommate (also very popular) is a karaoke FIEND, so I went up with the both of them because they asked me to, to sing "Because I Got High" by Afroman... I have no idea why they would want me to sing that song with them. (cough) Then I sang with the roommate on "Sunday Morning" by No Doubt.. I think that's where I got addicted. We were up there, and the words didn't come up, but we figured between the two of us, we would remember them all, which we did, and I think that we didn't sound so bad. Maybe. Dammit, we had a lot of fun. And they could hardly get me off the stage after that. I did a couple by myself that just went really poorly. But I continued the having of the fun.

Man, I just don't want to be a person that puts "karaoke" under "hobbies".. Fuck, that's going to be me, isn't it?

I told one friend that I think I really needed to go up and do the karaoke at least one time to get my ass on a stage, ANY stage, just to take the edge off the pain of the memory of the LAST time I was onstage. I figured with karaoke, at least I would know the words. I'm not sure I'm any closer to going back to standup because of it, though. Eh, maybe.

I also want to mention that I've ordered Sondra Harris' book, "Getting My Think On" from Amazon.com. It will be my vacation read. Not that I ever really read while I'm on vacation, but I always bring a book, just in case.

Plus, I listen to Miss Golf Widow (that's Sondra's real name)(Not the "miss" part, I added that on my own because that's how I address people, except men, I call them "mister 'first name'". I could go on about how I don't actually call them "mister first name" but this bit is getting tired) on her podcraptastic podcast, Podcrapular! with Andy Martello (who blames "not having somewhere to live because God hates him, so having to go house hunting while on vacation in Vegas" for not being able to make time for meeting someone he's never met before in his life to get a 20 cent gift that I lovingly picked out for him. Some people, huh?) every week, (even before it was podcrappy), plus read her blog for (a year? a couple of years?) a long time before that, so I had been getting pangs of guilt for not buying a copy of her blood, sweat, and tears since she casually mentioned it awhile back, and every other casual mention afterwards. I've more than gotten my $18 worth of entertainment from the happy wedded no-nonsense lady. It was the right thing to do.

And occasionally.....Oh-casionally, you might hear me pop up on the podcast...usually after I have been drinking. Is there any other way? I'm working my way towards a guest-host spot. Not to elbow out the lovely Josh aka The Listener quite the opposite, actually.. to elbow out Golf Widow and Andy. I don't know how to put it delicately, but I think Josh and I would have a better product. I would keep the Real Porn Audio but change it to Real Porn Karaoke...actually, I think Andy does that already, I'll have to come up with something else... DAMMIT. The plan was almost perfect.

Oh, and I turn 31 next week sometime.

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