2006-04-05 ~ 8:14 a.m.

Brought To You By Some Letters And Numbers

I just saw the funniest shit ever on daytime kids' programming.

Natalie Portman is the guest on Sesame Street today. I thought this was funny already because she hosted SNL a few weeks ago and made a rap video where she is clearly dropping the f-bomb... I know it's available for download if you care to look for it.

She's been on a whirlwind V for Vendetta tour, and I'm guessing by the time she got to Sesame Street, she's crazy tired and sick. She has laryngitis, and I found myself wondering whether she decided to do Sesame Street regardless or if she just couldn't get out of it. Yeah, I think she just did it regardless of being sick, too. I mean it's Sesame Mother Fucking STREET!

Ok, so here's the thing... In the show, she's taking over the shopkeeper because he's going on vacation, and Big Bird is being a big freakin' baby because apparently he has issues with change. So, she said some positive words, and in my head I was thinking, "Well, this is where they would normally sing a song, but she's probably not going to sing with her voice al---She's LIP SYNCHING????"

Fistly, my world is a little bit shattered. I mean, suuuuure it makes sense that they wouldn't actually sing while filming. Singing is OFTEN pre-recorded. It just never occured to me that Sesame Street would pre-record too.

My second problem is this- Natalie Portman has LARYNGITIS. But yet her singing voice is perfectly clear. Wouldn't the socially responsible thing to do is explain to the kids that sometimes celebrities get "acid reflux" and need help with their singing.

And thirdly, yeah, I know I don't have children. I know there is no reason for me to be watching Sesame Street. But I'm still awake, there's nothing much else on. Sure, if I turned off the goddamned teevee, I probably WOULD have a better chance of falling asleep, but I'm stubborn. And if I didn't watch it, do you think you would have been this up to date on Natalie Portman news?

Sesame Street is still freakin' awesome.

On The Street the other day, it was brought to us by the number 0. I don't remember 0 EVER hosting the show for me. I mean, ya know, it may have, but I really don't remember it. BUT today it was brought to us by 17. SEVENTEEN!!! Our children are counting up to 17 now! The Count counted all the way to it, and, MAN, he seems a lot fuitier than I remember.

DUDE!! Did you know Oscar the Grouch has a whole Grouch family?

Elmo is left-handed.

The Doodlebugs are doing fine.

The big shaggy dog from the beginning is gone. At least, I haven't seen him. Hmm... maybe I'm too old to see him.

Speaking of which, I still feel old school when Snuffleupagus shows up. "I remember the day when NOBODY could see him but me and Big Bird," I yell at my screen.

Still no commercials during the show, but PBS is under fire because of advertising before and after the show marketed directly towards the kids.

Whatever.

I WISH all my shows just had commercials before and after the show. Advertising is going to reach your screaming cabbages eventually, if you don't like it, PROVIDE MORE GUIDANCE TO YOUR CHILDREN!!!! Duh. PBS needs the cash and what's his name cut their funding, and I sure as hell haven't gotten around to sending in my $5, so shush and be happy kids have Sesame Street at all. It's probably the only thing teaching them at home.

{ previous ~ next }